Dreams. What happened to those dreams?

What I've learned in life is dreams exist for a reason. Maybe those dreams don’t manifest as we dreamt as a child but they still exists and that existence has a purpose. That purpose is simple: you had a dream because humanity needs your dream.

Humanity needs your dream.

I believe the greatest responsibility each of us has is to take those dreams that that live within our hearts and our minds and bring them to life. I believe when we lose focus of our dream, when we allow other distractions and voices to sidetrack us, we're actually missing the opportunity to live at our highest level of existence.

Bringing about the manifestation of your dreams then becomes your purpose for living.

But it’s much more difficult than simply reading words on a screen. Life throws many things at us. Some blessings. Some distractions. Some forks in the road. Fulfilling the dreams we fully believe in can often feel more like a burden than a miraculous partaking in life.

These challenges can often lead us to settle. After all, when life throws challenges your way it can become easier to jump ship and stick to this ‘normal’ that everyone talks about. Maybe you have listened to those voices of ‘normalcy’ or the voices that told you that you could never accomplish what you’re setting out to achieve. Maybe other voices have told you that your mission make absolutely no sense.

The problem with ‘normal’ and ‘sensibility’ is no two people have the same normal or sensibility guiding their lives. And they shouldn’t! We are each different people with different preferences and perspectives and passions and sense of well being. No two people should be living similar lives because no two people are similar. We are each unique.

Over the years, I have heard countless people express their frustrations or desires of how they wish they would have done something. The interesting thing? They are always very specific.

Write a book.

Become a lawyer.

Travel the world.

Become a coach.

Open a bakery.

Go back to school.

Every single time someone has reflected on what they ‘should have done’ they always know exactly what that ‘should have’ is. Why? Purpose. The dream that lived in you when you were young is the contribution humanity needs.

I want to encourage you- no matter how old or young you may be, it is never too early or too late to begin manifesting your dream. It will take time and energy so begin investing today! You can begin immediately working on bringing your dream to life.

I am going to give you three steps to begin taking right now that will empower your dream. These three steps are the foundation for building action and bringing your dream to life.

1- Give yourself permission

Often the only thing holding someone back from bringing their dream to life is permission. When so many have told you that you can’t achieve something or that the idea is too crazy or that it’s a waste of time, you begin to believe them.

Empowering self talk that is permissive to taking action and surrounding yourself with people who support you is extremely important. You want people in your corner who will tell you that you can rather than you can’t.

The pattern that seemingly repeats itself time after time for children is they are encouraged to use their imagination until adults feel it’s time for them to become more realistic. Once this takes place children are then told to be more realistic about life or to choose a dream that seems like something they could realistically achieve.

All of this talk about realism from adults stems from their own self doubt. This realist world adults speak of is in no way reality within the innocence of a child. This is the idea of beginners mind. The innocence of life and imagination and permission to dream. Adults who have been burnt by the ‘reality’ of life take it upon themselves to make sure children know what reality is.

But they’re mistaken. And wrong.

Give yourself permission to act on that gut feeling and tugging taking place within. Give yourself the space to make mistakes and try new things and to accomplish something beyond your imagination. This permission takes courage. Courage takes opportunity. Opportunity is created when we take action.

Surround yourself with your inner voice and the voice of others that says ‘yes’ through the real work that must take place for dreams to come true.

2- Create a circle of positivity

Manifesting your dreams is not easy work. It is also not for the faint of heart. Far too many people fall short when it comes to planning, strategizing, organizing and putting those elements into action.

But those elements are the structure that will bring your goal to life.

You must create a circle of positivity so you are not the only voice of inspiration in your own world. You need people around you that will encourage you during the trying times and remind you of the work taking place.

You need voices helping you stay focused on the larger picture because it is easy to get stuck in the weeds when the work gets going. When you build a circle of positive voices you will now have a greater opportunity to remain accountable, remain hopeful and progress forward with success.

This circle of influencers cannot be afraid to ask the hard questions.

What is your plan?

How will you fulfill this plan?

What will happen when this takes place?

What will you do if it doesn’t work out?

The voices in your circle of positivity will help you prioritize your action and energy so your dream can have a real chance at living.

3- Take action

I began this this article with the story of how many people I have had tell me over the years of how they wished they would have done something.

The bottom line is simple: they did not take action.

The truth is there are many obstacles standing between you and the manifestation of your dreams. But the greatest of those obstacles is action.

Far too many people go to their grave having never taken action. There are millions and millions of dreams need realized because people made the decision to not do anything. Don’t let this be you.

It takes courage to take action. But every it of courage needed already lies within you. It is simply waiting for permission to activate. Yes, there are unanswered questions. Yes, you will make mistakes. Yes, you will get things wrong. Yes, you will have moments of failure. But all of the questions of doubt are all answered when you take action.

It’s time to get your hands dirty, to dig out all of the experience and lessons life has taught and to get to work on building your dream.

Have you ever noticed the people with the best stories in life are the ones who take action?

You’ve never heard a good story from someone who works the same schedule each day, goes home at the same time, eats at the same time and watches TV or scrolls social media for hours before bed. Those are not the people you cannot wait to see and hear stories of their latest adventures.

Because they have no adventure.

The story tellers you enjoy spending time with are the ones who went to Europe last year to attend a three week, 150 mile hike.

They’re the ones who often go camping in a new state.

They’re the ones creating new businesses and taking art classes and hosting wine parties.

They’re the ones who never live the same day twice because life is much too short for that.

These are the people who you will cross paths with in 20 years and wonder ‘what have they been up to lately?’ They’re the dreamers. The ones with courage. They’re the ones living exactly as you did when you were a child.
And deep down you know there is something magical about the way they live. Because you remember that feeling of magic.

The beautiful thing is you can return to that magic today. You can take steps at this moment to give yourself the permission to take action. All it takes is making one different decision, taking one different step, and giving yourself one opportunity to feel the magic of life again.

During our interview, Kenneth shared empowering insight that will inspire you to know that you are enough.

Mitch- What makes a great speaker?

Kenneth- Someone who has confidence in themselves in who they are and the message that they're delivering.

If you don't believe in yourself as a speaker, and if you don't believe in what you're saying, the audience can spot that a mile away and they will never be with you. If you believe in who you are and the message you're getting out there, that's the ticket. You can do anything at that point. I love it. I love it.

Mitch- It’s almost like confidence is this characteristic or element that actually brings together all of the underlying characteristics. It's really a reflection of the soul.

Kenneth- Absolutely. I love how you put that as a reflection of the soul. One of the things, one of the big things that I teach is that you, as a human being are enough how you are today, how you were yesterday and how you are tomorrow.

You're enough. You don't need to be a facsimile of who you are, a presentation version of yourself that serves no one. So if you can truly reflect yourself, reflect your soul when you're on stage giving a speech or on zoom, this is public speaking too, right? That brings out that confidence. So, yeah, you're absolutely right.

Mitch- Let’s talk about that. The idea that you are enough.

I'm someone who has struggled with mental health. It's that idea that I am enough or the doubt in being enough . How does someone work through that in your experience? I know we're going to talk about public speaking but as someone who stands in front of people or speaks in front of people, there's always that fine line of feeling like you are enough.

How do you navigate that within public speaking?

Kenneth- So let's take it out of the context of public speaking because this applies for any skill. Whether you are enough as a swimmer, as a cyclist, as someone who fixes roads, it doesn't matter.

I don't know if you've ever read the book the talent code by Dan Coyle.

He was a sports writer. And what he started noticing is there's these hotspots around the world that prove we're producing a disproportionate amount of talent. He became aware of things like 'Why is this tennis camp in the middle of nowhere, Russia putting out more world champions than other places? Why is this soccer camp in Brazil putting out more players than other locations?’

So he went on a quest and discovered the training methods these folks were using. And it all has to do with myelin. What does it turn that most people might not know. It's a chemical in your brain. And what happens is this is how we form habits.

This is how we form muscle memory. The more we do something and the more we repeat something and way that this is an action, or whether this is self-talk, the more we use any neural pathway, your brain wraps myelin around it.

And it's basically like insulation. That becomes the preferred route for your thoughts. The more myelin gets wrapped around it, the faster the transmission of the electricity in that part of your brain, the more your brain wants to use that. That's how we form these habits. All this is discussed in Dan's book.

I was a professor for about a decade and I used a lot of this type of methodology to find out what people's self-talk is based on. And then specifically in my work around public speaking, we explore things like what are the hangups you have? Before a speech are you saying something like 'this is terrible? I'm so afraid I'm going to suck. What if I mess up?’

Because that is what you're reinforcing in your brain. That's your self-talk.

So we identify that self-talk and where are you sabotaging yourself. What I'm not doing is going back to the relationship you had with your mother when you were three. But what I can do is help you stop the habit that you formed around this.

And over our time together, we form new habits around self-talk and then we do the same with creating an engaging speech, talking with an audience, learning how to do a tennis swing, whatever it is. You start forming these new habits and by leading with those changes, your entire outlook changes your thought patterns, which changes your reality.

Mitch- There's this idea and almost permissive action that someone can take. We do know there's a reason that you've arrived at that self-talk, at that self reflection. There's also this permissive door that can help someone empower another to begin dealing with negative self-talk. And actually what we're talking about is self-awareness.

What is one piece of advice you would like to give the readers?

Kenneth- What I would like you to take away from this, and I've mentioned it a few times, is that no matter where you are in life, no matter the struggles you've had, no matter the things that you wish you had done or wish you had accomplished, or the things by which you are measuring yourself, my friends- You are enough. You are interesting. You are talented. You are a gift to the rest of the world.

Trust that you are enough.

So how do we get through those days? What plan do we have that will allow us to center, to breathe, to rest? How do we hang on to those dreams and desires and longings for a life filled with more peace and less stress? I have those days…..you have those days……and here are 3 great habits that will help you not only survive those days of difficulty but, more importantly, learn from those days of difficulty!

Habit #1- Journal your thoughts and emotions

I’ve been journaling, off and on, for almost two decades now. I have kept many of these journals especially over the past decade. It’s amazing to read the journals from my past. Two years ago. Five years ago. Ten years ago. What always surprises me is that I made it through every single difficult day. Secondly, to see my growth and maturity over time is astonishing really. I’ve evolved as a person. I’ve grown in my knowledge. I’ve allowed my belief system to become more compassionate, understanding and open to life and others. Journaling your thoughts and emotions not only offers us healing during the moment, it also offers us evidence of who we were, who we are and a path to who we are becoming. THIS is powerful. Journal as often as possible. And hang on to those journals. Some entries are shorter than a tweet. Some are paragraphs and some become the next chapter in your life book. Regardless…… JOURNAL!!!!

Habit #2- Move your body

Moving your body is the most underrated form of healing I can think of. So many people never move their body. More never push their body. Walk. Run. Jump. Dance. Lift. Just do something that gets your blood flow going, your body moving and your mind awake. Moving heals you. Our bodies were not meant to be stagnant. They were not meant to sit for hours upon hours without some form of function. So move! If exercise scares you then simply call it moving! You don’t have to have a gym membership to take a walk. You don’t need a physical trainer to do some sit ups. You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars to take a class at your local community college! Moving your body can be free or it can cost exactly how much you want to spend. Just MOVE!

Habit #3- Take part in something creative

Maybe you like to write poetry. Painting still life your thing? How about playing music? Maybe reading and unleashing your imagination is where it’s at for you. Those cabinets you like to build? Oh, you like to volunteer at the local shelter? Find that thing that unleashes your creative spirit and gives you hope and do it. Make time for the thing that brings you to life within. These are the activities, the sacred actions, that heal our spirit and help us through those difficult days. Life isn’t easy friend. It’s often chaotic and hard and bloody and trying and scary. So do the things you love that fill your soul with satisfaction and joy.

After all, we all have those days….don’t we?

1- IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE LOOKING FOR (LIST THE INTANGIBLES)

What type of personality do they have?

How do they carry themselves?

What knowledge do they have?

What natural skills do they have?

2- IDENTIFY, IN DETAIL, WHY YOU NEED THIS PERSON

Is there a specific problem they will solve for your team?

What is their ‘why’ for existing on your team?

3- DESCRIBE, IN DETAIL, WHAT THEY WILL BE DOING ON YOUR TEAM

What decisions will they help with?

What responsibilities will be given to them?

What leadership role will they play?

How will their role evolve over time?

4- PRESENT THIS ‘IDEAL PERSON’ TO YOUR TEAM AND GET THEIR FEEDBACK

How does your team see this person fitting in?

Does this role make sense to your team?

Does your team see value in this role/person?

If you are filling, yet reviewing, an existing position, what would your team change about this position and their role?

5- LIST PEOPLE YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED, CURRENTLY KNOW OR PLACES YOU COULD RECRUIT THIS EXACT PERSON

Who do you know?

Who does your team know?

Where have you experienced great customer service before?

What business does similar things well that this position you are hiring for will do?

It seems that while mental health has become a more open discussion, the workplace isn’t quite ready to offer all that people need to be successful in those days of struggle. The days we fight the ghosts. There is this unwritten expectation is that you are expected to go about your job as normal in most places of business; no questions asked.

The most challenging element to this dilemma is that questions do exist; negative thoughts do live within your mind and emotions. For some, it is a win to get out of bed, much less get dressed and begin the workday. These challenges have seemingly been compounded during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many find themselves working from home, taking part in daily activities they are not used to, and playing multiple roles, possibly as a part-time teacher, full-time parent, and full-time employee.

Recent research indicates that up to 75% of U.S. workers have struggled due to anxiety caused by the COVID-19 pandemic and other recent world events. No one was equipped or prepared for this sudden disruption in our system and daily lives. This is only magnified for those who struggle with mental health issues. But you are here. You cannot change the past. You can only adapt and adjust to the present and do all you can to strengthen yourself and move forward continually.

But there remain those days that getting out of bed is still the biggest win of the day.

So what do you do when this darkness overwhelms you? How do you fight the ghosts when anxieties are at their height? Let’s look at five actions you can take to navigate mental health while working from home.

Take action on something.

During the darkest days, it may seem impossible even to move. Mental health can often paralyze you while reality continues moving forward in the world. These days, taking action on anything is always better than nothing. This action gives you a feeling of being productive. Even the smallest success can breathe life into your mind, emotions, and thoughts.

Take vulnerability to the next level.

Sharing with someone you trust about your struggle is incredibly empowering. If this is someone who has walked with you through your journey, you know they will support you during challenging days. Isolation during the moments of struggle is not where you want to be. You are not alone. Allow others to walk with you.

Allow nature to heal you.

Being outdoors might be the most underrated action you can take. Nature has a way of healing and changing perspective on the day. Take a walk, go for a run, or play outside with your family. A shift will begin for the positive when you allow nature to be part of your healing.

Move your body.

Studies have shown that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication. One study specifically found that running for 15 minutes a day or walking for an hour daily reduces the risk of major depression by 26%. Moving your body activates your mind, which is always a doorway to great mental health.

Live in the moment.

Whatever is igniting the feeling of hopelessness and doubt exists. Expending too much energy trying to figure it out is futile. Acknowledge this moment, feel it fully, then learn from it. Mental health can teach you much about yourself, your environment, and those around you. Change what you can and learn from what you cannot. Being fully present within these moments can become a powerful gateway to healing.

If you struggle with depression or mental health of any kind, please reach out. You are not alone.

(As seen in The Good Men Project- 11/19/2020)

But there is an art to listening.
An art to asking questions.
An art to leading a conversation through curiosity so you can identify the characteristics of another within a five minute window.

Yes, a five minute window.

I once worked for a company who had an unwritten policy that every person who completes an application with us deserved an interview. This was back in the day when you handed someone a paper application, clipboard and pen. I honestly miss those days. Although technology is wonderful and has given us the opportunity to work smarter and carry a wider footprint of impact, it has also taken away some of the humanity that comes with life. Interviewing is one of those areas where we’ve robbed ourselves of the humanity we really need to find great people.

It is impossible to know who you are interviewing though their Indeed profile. You cannot look someone in the eye via email. Scoping someone’s social media only tells you what they want you to know. I want flesh and blood. I want eye contact and body language.
With those interactions I can know within 2-4 minutes if I want to hire you.

Yes. It’s that simple.

Three questions in I know if you will fit our culture.
Five questions in I know what kind of leadership skills you carry with you.
Eight to ten questions in I can match your skill set with exactly what I feel will help you be successful within our culture.

Again, it’s that simple. But you have to know the right questions to ask. You have to know the signals to watch and the small subtleties to listen to. You have to pay attention to the small details that most miss. And it only takes a few minutes and a few right questions. But that is all very difficult to do via your computer.

You’re playing the lottery.

If you’ve never taken the time to learn how to interview properly, if you’ve never studied the art of question asking, if you’ve never dabbled even a little in psychology and human behavior, if you have no clear cut description of what you want this new hire to do, if you’re depending on apps and social media and hiring companies to find people then you’re playing the lottery. My guess is as a successful business person you don’t spend too much time at the slot machine or in line at your local gas station spending your hard earned money on powerball numbers. Most successful people don’t make or spend their money that way. Yet when it comes to hiring and finding great people even the most successful among us lose their ever loving mind!

The most high performing CEO’s in the world would never hand their business over to someone they don’t know and trust. Yet when it comes time to hire, the first thing so many do is turn to someone they don’t know and most likely don’t trust. You’re allowing a machine and algorithm to sift through candidates and you’re left with the rest.

Why?

Because you say you don’t have time?
What you don’t have time for is the cycle of hiring and firing and seeing people quit.
What you don’t have time for is spending thousands of dollars on training another employee.

Maybe you don’t trust yourself. Then either find someone you trust who knows your culture inside and out and have them learn how to become a master at interviewing. Honestly, it’s your business. Become a master of interviewing first, find some great people that actually stay with you THEN entrust someone to help you recruit, interview and hire. There is absolutely not excuse you can give me that I will not crush when it comes to recruiting and hiring great people. It’s your business. It’s your money. It’s your dream. It’s your culture. You hold the key.

Stop making excuses.

I want you to have a plan for recruiting and hiring. There is so much information to cover here but for today I want to make it simple. I want so badly for you to stop playing the lottery and actually have confidence that the people you hire are going to work.

Will you miss sometimes? Yes. But you will find success far more often than miss once you learn the art of interviewing. This skill is for another day. For today? I want to give you three easy to access places to begin finding great people. Think of it as searching for the best athletes. You can be a mediocre coach but if you have elite athletes and let them do what they do you will be a very successful coach. Conversely, you can be the most ingenious coach in the history of coaching. If you have subpar athletes you will be a mediocre coach at best. All of that knowledge and idealism will be lost with players who cannot perform. So you must know where to find those elite athletes you’re seeking. The people who have the intangibles needed to take your business next level. Here are the top three places to seek out elite team members:

1- Colleges or Universities

Campuses are some of the most underrated locations for seeking prospective employees. I’ve never understood this because college campuses are sprawling with eager, hard working, idealistic, youthful, energetic and determined people. These are people looking for a career. They are exploring the world and themselves and are ready to take part in the world around them. They desire empowerment and advancement and a culture that gives them space and room to use their talents and abilities. You are absolutely crazy if you are not recruiting college campuses. Not sure how? I will give you the how.

• Contact the department that is most closely related to your type business and market place and ask to present to a class. Do this a few times a semester. College professors are constantly seeking community engagement and guest speakers. Become their go to contact every semester and you will suddenly have an influx of viable candidates for your business.

• Walk the campus and find every single location job boards are located. Place a simple flyer on every job board stating that you are looking for great teammates for your business. Someone will contact you.

3- Create awesome social media posts that state exactly what your company is about and why it would be a great place to work. Post these on your social media platform and tag every department within the college you are prospecting as well as the college itself. If the institution has active clubs, study groups, etc, tag these as well.

Taking these three steps at your nearby college or university will drastically change the prospects walking through your door. And notice, you don’t have to depend on vague technology to find them. You took control.

2- Job Fairs

Every single city of any size in America hold jobs fairs. Many of them host multiple job fair’s a year. Colleges and Universities hold job fair’s each semester to help graduates network and find opportunity. You want to be a face at these job fair’s. This is your opportunity to prospect, recruit and hone your skill of the two minute interview. Again, once you know the right questions and how to listen, a two minute interview is all you need to know if moving forward is worth your time. Call your local chamber of commerce, local educational institutions, local high schools, etc and ask if they hold job fair’s during the year. With ten minutes of phone calls you might just have the opportunity to find a few people that could change the outlook of your company and eradicate most of the frustration you’ve had when it comes to finding great people.

3- Anywhere you are shopping, eating, purchasing, visiting

Believe it or not, there are great people all around you. Every place you shop or visit or eat have great people. It may be the chef in the back or the janitor or the cashier or the car salesman. You never know who you are going to meet so your radar must always be on when engaging with others. Listen to how they speak to you and others. Pay attention to their work ethic. Notice how they interact with others. The greatest mistake most business owners make is they recruit and hire based on tangibles rather than intangibles. 80% of what you are hiring someone to do can be taught. They don’t need to know that 80% of information before you hire them. Computing programs, training programs, sales tactics, job information, cultural relevancies can all be taught. I don’t care if someone has never heard of Excel or the next great software you’re using. I can teach them all of that. I want the intangibles. I want to hire someone because they have the characteristics I cannot teach. They know how to engage others.
They have strong work ethic.
They have a great smile and a positive presence.
They have idealism and good energy.

You cannot teach these things. Anywhere you meet someone who has these intangible characteristics, take note. Visit them again. Find out more about them. Get to know them. Because if the data holds true they are most likely not 100% excited about the future of their job and will, one day, be looking for an opportunity. When that day comes you want them to remember you, your company and the culture they know exist at your place of business.

Stop playing the lottery when it comes to finding great people. These three steps are an easy start to that mission. You are in control. It is your company. Each time someone leaves you are provided another opportunity to look in the mirror, reflect and make a change.

The world is full of amazing, great, positive people.

You’re just looking in the wrong places.